Two years of #MeToo: a disaster for men and women

The movement has turned women into weaklings and men into monsters.

Joanna Williams
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This month marks the second anniversary of #MeToo, a movement that began with accusations of sexual assault against Harvey Weinstein but rapidly morphed into a global phenomenon that has swept through every aspect of society. It has touched politics – from nominations to the US Supreme Court to members of the Welsh Assembly. And it has cast a shadow over film, theatre, journalism, academia, the law, medicine and – just last week – opera . It has encompassed allegations from the criminal to the trivial. But to what end? The #MeToo movement is long overdue a public reckoning. As a starting point, here are five things #MeToo has taught us.

Women are weak

Forget apocryphal stories of powerful women slowly stubbing cigarettes out on the back of groping male hands, twisting a carefully positioned stiletto heel in the middle of a lecherous man’s foot or administering a well-timed slap on the face. No, according to the leading proponents of the #MeToo movement, the correct response to wandering hands and unwanted advances is for women to smile passively and do nothing at all. Until, that is, a full 20 years later when they can safely describe the true extent of their trauma from a national newspaper column. #MeToo has told a generation of young women that nothing is too trivial to be reported to the authorities or broadcast to the world. A male colleague winks at you? Report it to your manager. Whistled at in the street? That’s a matter for the police.

Middle-class women are more deserving of sympathy than working-class girls

We have heard an awful lot about journalists’ knees over the past two years. Or, in the case of Charlotte Edwardes, her thighs. In fact, we have heard far more about the plight of middle-class knees in posh London restaurants than we have about working-class girls in Rotherham, Huddersfield and Telford. These girls, many under the age of 16, were sexually abused and exploited by now-convicted Muslim men. Yet alleged knee-touching warrants more headlines, column inches and Twitter hashtags than actual criminal convictions. Perhaps northern girls just don’t make for such attractive victims. Or perhaps Muslim men are ‘problematic’ perpetrators. If you really want your #MeToo story to garner sympathy, you need to point the finger at a politician. Even better, go for Boris Johnson or Donald Trump.

Redemption is overrated

How long do we need to wait before it is acceptable to laugh at Louis CK’s jokes again? The ‘disgraced’ comedian has been performing in Canada this week and journalists have been horrified to report that people queued to get in to see him and actually laughed at his show and then clapped at the end. Of course, the only explanation is that the audience was mostly white males. This notwithstanding, #MeToo teaches us there can be no forgiveness, still less redemption, for those accused of sexual misdemeanours. Apologies; loss of work, family, friends and livelihood; time spent in prison — nothing whatsoever can undo an error once made. By the same token, the old-fashioned concept of innocent until proven guilty has been tried and found wanting. Take Harvey Weinstein. The man has been found so obviously guilty in the eyes of the #MeToo movement that there seems little point going through the performance of an actual trial. As Harvard students argued, there’s certainly no need for him to have a lawyer acting in his defence.

Harassment is in the eye of the beholder

#MeToo began with serious accusations of rape. But as it cast its net ever-wider, the crimes became, well, less serious. Joe Biden kissed the top of a woman’s head. Morgan Freeman apparently touched a young woman’s back. Aziz Ansari reportedly poured his date a glass of red wine when, unknown to him, she really fancied white wine instead. This is, at the very worst, bad manners. But #MeToo teaches us that there is no objective definition of sexual harassment. If certain behaviour is unwanted and perceived by a woman to be sexual harassment, then it is sexual harassment. Context, intent, even a man’s actions count for nothing compared to a woman’s feelings.

The future is segregated

#MeToo teaches us, above all else, that all interactions between men and women are potentially problematic. In universities, students are taught that physical contact with another person requires explicit permission. Lecturers are advised to leave the office door open during tutorials to guard against false accusations. Codes of conduct proscribe relationships between staff and students. Many happy marriages may have begun with flirting in the office but now the human-resources department is likely to have just the policy necessary to nip any romance in the bud. Post-#MeToo, a majority of male bosses report feeling uncomfortable mentoring junior female colleagues. Way to go, feminism – a victory for women!

Two years on from the start of #MeToo and we are still waiting for Weinstein to face trial. His public downfall could have taught women to be more assertive and less naive. The powerful social-media community that sprang up could have shown women that they do not need to put up with sexual harassment and there will be people to support them when they stand up for themselves. Instead, right from the start, #MeToo became a celebration of female fragility. It’s time for it to be consigned to the scrap heap of history.

Joanna Williams is associate editor at spiked. Her most recent book, Women vs Feminism: Why We All Need Liberating from the Gender Wars, is out now.

Picture by: Getty.

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Comments

Jim Tennison

12th December 2019 at 2:50 pm

I actually think the best way for men and women to work together is segregation. Putting all women on one end of the building and all men on the other end let the women interact women and the men and the men with the men or put them on separate floors. Then you will see an end to this problem.

Patiently Waiting

18th October 2019 at 1:09 am

#MeToo made a mistake … that’s often made by movements … which was to throw-out sacred principles including the Presumption of Innocence and Innocent Until Proven Guilty. Their instigators felt that the ends justify the means– and that punishing men, all men presumed to be guilty– just “Believe HER”– was worth the cost. But, it’s NOT.

Because despite the attack against “patriarchy”– without considering that the myth of “matriarchy” is equally debilitating — many women and me — feminists and non-feminists– care about truth and justice. And humanity. Not all men are monsters… and not all women are truthful. There are bullies and abusers in both genders; and this is something that #MeToo has refused to own up to … ergo, it’s akin to a religious cult– where evidence doesn’t matter; but blind-faith is mandatory.

Many of refuse to sign-up to a movement that is based upon HATE: Hatred of a group of individuals on the basis of their gender, their race, or ethnicity. Sadly, there are women who seek to punish men out of vengeance, greed and/or malice. And that is repugnant. Finally, where do we draw the line? Rape is criminal; and any person, male or female, who rapes another living being should be held to account. But what if a person puts their hand on one’s shoulder or attempts to be intimidate? If it’s unwelcome, many of us tell the person to stop… and if they do not– we take action.

Finally, I’m sick and tired of pop-mediocrities who exploit #MeToo in order to garner self-promotion and/or prop themselves up. Case in point:–>https://omnesoasis.wordpress.com/2019/02/24/lars-von-trier-and-bjork-editorial-informative-paper-on-the-working-relationship-of-those-two-artists/ … Beware the celebrity-con. It’s all around us, and oh so blatantly dishonest.

Patiently Waiting

18th October 2019 at 1:10 am

Correction: “many women and men”. Apologies.

Ian Baxter

14th October 2019 at 7:30 am

Ronald David

15th October 2019 at 7:18 pm

Well with Feminism that is everywhere today along with the me too movement, which makes MGTOW a real safe choice for many of us single men since these type of women are really too blame.

michael savell

13th October 2019 at 5:33 pm

Joanna Williams,I don’t see how the metoo movement has turned women into weaklings and males into monsters.Very few women are weak and very few men are monsters.Some women could well be classed as monsters and quite a few men as weak.I am 82 and lived through the war.I can remember only a few “yes” women who deferred to their “old men”because the latter were outspoken and had lots of memories to relate even though they were still young and,even then there were knowing winks and smirks demonstrated behind the benevolent “back”.
Conversely a lot of wives ruled the roost with rods of iron,they made nearly all the rules apart from arguments about football,a lot or even most men handed their pay packets over without even opening them.For the most part I cannot see what men are supposed to have done that was so upsetting to women.Why do women have to wear their hearts on their sleeves,no one has ever forced them to do so,not everyone has to be traditionalists,yet we have bred millions of women who desire some form of revenge because of “feelinz”.The subjective is always nice until one has to wake up and then civility and sanity should be at the fore unlike the situation we find ourselves in today,where identity politics and wokeness are the order of the day and the whole of white society is falling apart and will probably be almost eradicated in a few decades time.

Claire D

13th October 2019 at 11:16 am

” Man and woman are two locked caskets, of which each contains the key to the other.”

Claire D

13th October 2019 at 11:18 am

Just discovered this, thought I’d share it.

ZENOBIA PALMYRA

12th October 2019 at 3:49 pm

Western ‘liberals’ will never stand up against the autocratic, bigoted, misogynistic culture of Islam because to do so may result in death. They have no intention of respecting our culture and freedoms; they are simply exploiting the weakness of the west and using PC ideology and multiculturalism to take us out from the inside. It is time to reconstruct antemurale christianitatis and rebuild our Christian society.

Ven Oods

12th October 2019 at 11:38 am

One wonders what the western world’s birthrate will be in 20 years time if this stuff continues as it’s begun.
On the one hand, misogynistic bullying does look to have been worryingly widespread, and on the other, *everything* is now harassment.
If there’s a middle ground, let’s hope we find it soon.

Fred Shred

11th October 2019 at 10:08 pm

The central conceit of a secular age is that people have moved on from irrationality and superstition. In reality, the urge to believe, and the related urge to police personal morality, remain; and so you find a raging puritanical distaste for casual sex now cloaked in a secular mantle of “integrity” and gender equality. In this brave new world, women have no sexual agency; women don’t feel lust; and women are incapable of enjoying casual sex. If 2 people have crap, drunken sex,
the woman is always the chaste dupe and the bloke is always the evil manipulator. Welcome to Iran. In 2019, any bloke who socialises with female colleagues after work or who goes to office parties is an idiot. Modern, rich, white, urban, middle-class women can’t cope with
equality; and these brittle, neurosis-projecting idiots assume that they are entitled to speak on behalf of all women.

Hugh Bryant

10th October 2019 at 9:55 pm

It’s only a matter of time before we come full circle and feminists start demanding formal courtship and lifelong monogamy.

gush gosh

13th October 2019 at 10:13 am

They already are.

Ang On

10th October 2019 at 8:42 pm

Dunno what she’s blarting on about but that bird in the first pic can blow my horn any day . . . .

PP Garb

10th October 2019 at 8:36 pm

The argument over what women wear. I despaired at the loss of ‘below the knee’ clothes to buy. They disappeared completely from the shops. I’ve not bought a dress or skirt in years because the lengths are too short. Hence I wear trousers mostly now. If only I had the time to get my sewing machine out again I’ve lamented.

The short lengths have all been about charging the same money for less cloth. It’s the same reason buying anything with a collar on, is a challenge. Even long sleeves can be difficult, regardless of season, as daft as that sounds – I’ve bought mens shirts in desperation before now. I suspect the low necks are cheaper to make too – I just refuse to buy low necks (I hate catching sight of my own boobs unexpectedly while out and about, I don’t know why), and low necks are everywhere, on everything. It’s cheaper to manufacture trampish it seems.

Now called the Midi, ‘below the knee’ has returned in the last year. Halleluah! I know not for how long. If only it would take hold and become the dominating trend. Perhaps it’s a Kate effect and long may it last.

Then add to all that: girls are sold the message that revealling is sexy and no girl wants to be thought of, or called, ‘dowdy’ so they *buy* it all, the insecure things. Plus some of the silly beggars are so lost in all the fray, so embattled now, dare I say so Woke, they’d heckle someone advising them not to walk off a cliff. What to do about all of that… hum, if only it were an easy one.

Jim Lawrie

10th October 2019 at 5:07 pm

To Michael Lynch.

That question “has she got something on him?” has flitted through my mind quite a few times. If someone had something on me, I’d tell them to go ahead. They’re going to at some time anyway. Even if she hadn’t, her type would make it up.
When I worked in the City the girls n the settlements department were as baudy as a gang of streetwalkers. My boss was too feart to go into their department.

I expect Boris Johnson has been threatened with all sorts of revelations, but he doesn’t give a flying fig, because he has never hidden anything and he is not a moralist.

I’m looking forward to The Court in Scotland signing on behalf of the Prime Minister or taking the coward’s way out and appointing someone else to do that.

Michael Lynch

10th October 2019 at 10:50 pm

Ah, yes the good old days. I worked for a Jewelers when I first left school and the Press Shop was full of bawdy women. I went in one day holding a tray of work and one of them ran over and took down my trousers and pants. They all laughed their heads off. I was only 16 so it came as a shock and I was extremely embarrassed about it. When I went back and told the manager and the some of other guys they all simply laughed their heads off too! It was all part of the initiation process. I soon got over it and saw the funny side. No long lasting trauma either. Whatever happened to common sense?

Gareth Hart

10th October 2019 at 4:12 pm

As an addition to my earlier comment, Angela Crawley, MP for Lanark and Hamilton East, has posted a tweet where she plans to submit an Early Day Motion which would condemn and potentially outlaw unwanted flirting. Naturally focusing on pick-up artists (PUA’s) to maximise her argument but the consequences of what she is proposing will have wide reaching consequences beyond PUA’s. Also ignoring the root cause as to why men are in such a desperate situation.

Better start building those prison cells for all the rejected men on dating apps, websites and other social venues.

Ven Oods

12th October 2019 at 11:43 am

You think they’ll put all the incels in cells?

Eric Blair

10th October 2019 at 2:40 pm

It is not true to say that the working class victims of grooming gangs have been under-regarded when their assaulters have been jailed. Weinstein et al are (mostly) still at large. But that wouldn’t fit the narrative.

steve moxon

10th October 2019 at 4:13 pm

Come again?! It took decades before any attention was paid to what was on a large scale in plain sight in many cities and towns, and only after concerted effort, and even then response was begrudging.

Jim Lawrie

10th October 2019 at 4:41 pm

It has been happening in Glasgow since the 70’s and not one prosecution.

James Knight

10th October 2019 at 5:44 pm

Well high profile celebrity #MeToo campaigners never showed the slightest interest or even awareness that they existed.

You may say there is more to #MeToo than celebrities and a virtue signalling brand. But really there isn’t.

Michael Lynch

10th October 2019 at 10:33 pm

There’s never none so blind than those who refuse to see. You really are a useful idiot to post drivel like that. But I suppose someone has to be; Stalin and Mao had millions of them at their disposal.
As far as the Hollywood thing is concerned, we have all known that it has been a sexual cesspit since its beginning. Most of the actresses who have jumped on the Me Too bandwagon are merely suffering from a bad case of self loathing. They are merely trying to claim that the regret they feel is a form of rape.

Andrew Leonard

10th October 2019 at 1:54 pm

There is serious categorical problem with #MeToo, as follows.
Consider the impact modern divorce/settlement and child custody laws may have had on men’s decisions to marry. We can suppose two broad possibilities.

1. Women have traditionally received a raw deal from marriage, and men have disproportionately benefited from marriage, at women’s expense. If this is true, then changes to divorce and settlement laws favouring women, would likely have little impact on the number of men wanting to marry, as they still get a pretty good outcome, overall.
2. The historical benefits from marriage have been finely balanced, between the sexes. Cultural forces maintain almost equal advantages to men and women, who marry. In that case, new divorce/settlement/custody laws favouring women, would likely see a sharp decline in the number of men wanting to marry (to the despair of some women).

The above indicates that the change or stability of men’s behaviour tells a lot about what was/is fair/unfair, in the marriage arena.

Compare this to #MeToo. What does the change in men’s behaviour toward women, tell us about the acceptability or otherwise, of their prior behaviour towards women? If as a result of #MeToo, men begin to avoid women in both social and work contexts, does this tell us:

1. Men have behaved badly (and they know it)
2. Men have not behaved badly, as a rule, but have been forced to take preventative action, to protect themselves.

There is no obvious way to tell.

Men’s behavioural response to #MeToo tells us nothing about the validity of the movement and its methods, nor does it tell us to what degree men are guilty as a class, of inappropriate behaviour toward women.

I guess witch-hunts aren’t a great way to do justice.

James Hillier

14th October 2019 at 10:19 am

The two are not mutually exclusive. The problem is that those driving and advocating for #metoo do not care about sorting the guilty from the innocent. If some guilty men are caught up in the dragnet, as they surely must be, that’s great: it can be used to reinforce the idea that all men victimized by #metoo are guilty. Innocence is impossible, which is just as well because there is no mechanism to determine it.

Andrew Leonard

14th October 2019 at 12:09 pm

Exactly my point.
Just as governments have a monopoly on the legal use of force, so should governments have a legal monopoly on the application of justice. Mob justice should be outlawed.

James Hillier

14th October 2019 at 2:37 pm

“Mob justice should be outlawed.”

Until recently, I’d have said it was. But it’s remarkable how quickly #metoo managed to degrade and undermine any vocation or area of human endeavor with which it came into contact.

Andrew Leonard

15th October 2019 at 2:11 am

Remarkable in an historical sense, but not so much if one considers the very fertile ground to which these ideologies are being deployed.

Michael Lynch

10th October 2019 at 11:48 am

As a young man I was far too shy and anxious about approaching women for a date. Reading signals was just too complicated a dance for me. I truly believe that the majority of men are just like me; we had to be coaxed and gently led by women who were genuinely interested in us. Nowadays, I fear, men will merely view these subtle signals as some sort of cynical trap. It will be better to avoid women altogether to live a stress free existence. Even friendship with women will be out. Just imagine the workplace; no eye contact, no being alone in the same room and just extremely stunted verbal communication in order to complete tasks. It will become so problematic that segregation will be inevitable. Men and women will go their separate ways both personally and professionally.

steve moxon

10th October 2019 at 4:19 pm

Yes, simply buying sex as and when you want it will become the far safer and better way of having sex than in relationships. But of course, femascism actively wants the very thngs it purports to object to — like commodifying women — to justify its unsupportable stance and further fuel its basic motivation of hatred towards men.

Ceri Dingle

10th October 2019 at 11:28 am

Excellent points by Joanna, #MeToo has been so damaging. I meet so many young women now who tell me it is not safe to walk home, that all men are predators, that wolf whistling is dangerous and indeed should be criminalised and they have never even been out with anyone. God knows how this will impact future relationships.Thankfully there are older generations of women who can see this is crazy and disasterous-see the film Women: a success story by WORLDwrite for example based on Joanna’s book where 40 women tell it like it is & challenge the nonsense. You’ll need to search for it as I can’t leave the link here-it’s in full on Vimeo. Well worth watching although feminists tend to get really upset by it-such is their determination to cast us as victims.

James Hillier

10th October 2019 at 10:25 am

“Many happy marriages may have begun with flirting in the office but now the human-resources department is likely to have just the policy necessary to nip any romance in the bud.”

Mine did. My now wife was senior to me when it began. And for a long time I did not notice she was flirting with me, until she made absolutely and unambiguously clear that she was not just, as I had assumed, “being friendly”. The thing is, I thought that I had been absolutely delighted both by her advances, the resulting marriage of almost two decades and our children. But now I realise that I was abused and this must all be false consciousness on my part. Do you think The Times would be interested in my story?

Jerry Owen

10th October 2019 at 11:58 am

James Hillier
When I did my apprenticeship it was a small workplace but I was the only man amongst about five girls. Not that I am a braggart but I did have relations with more than one of them. I’m seriously thinking about getting some advice to see if I was in fact ‘groomed’ and ‘abused’ without noticing it. If it turns out I was, then those happy days were in fact tormenting days of sexual predation.
I’ll let you know when the BBC invite me on .

James Hillier

10th October 2019 at 8:27 pm

Mate, deepest sympathies. That must have been dreadful. But your brave testimony has opened my eyes to another historical injustice. All these years, I thought Confessions of a Window Cleaner was a sub-par 70s sex-romp caper. Only now do I realise that it was a searing catalogue of the relentless sexual harassment one young man suffered when all he wanted to do was clean windows.

Jerry Owen

11th October 2019 at 5:30 pm

J Hillier
Confessions of a widow cleaner.. that takes me back . The Emmanuelle series were pretty good too.. er, apparently !

Gareth Hart

10th October 2019 at 10:18 am

We are approaching the point where unwanted interactions in the workplace and on dating apps from a man deemed unattractive to a woman will be treated as sexual harassment, with all the potential character ruin and legal consequences that could bring. And considering how the majority of men are deemed unattractive to the average woman according to OkCupid data, that’s a lot of people the dating app providers are going to have to purge and report.

Of course, if any man decides to opt out of the dating market and live a bachelor lifestyle because its far less stressful and makes him happier, that decision will be deemed misogynist and sexist by the women screaming “where have all the good men gone?” and demanding men “man up” because they deem a man’s worth in society by his ability to attract a partner.

After #MeToo, a proportion of single men simply cannot win. They’re harassers if they partake in the dating market, misogynists if they do not.

PP Garb

10th October 2019 at 7:53 pm

What an unholy mess…..

Over 30 years ago at the age of 15, I looked at marraige and decided it was not for me. Too fraught. The alternative of staying single was much simpler and I could see it was the happier route to take.

The world has looked at me with a side-eye ever since. I’ve been a suspicious character, to be avoided. That awkward moment after responding to the question “Are you/have you been married?” with… no. Something decidedly wrong with me for daring to assess marraige as something I could do without.

And the disbelief when I’ve said how happy I’ve been. There has been an absolute refusal to consider I might be telling the truth about my contentment. (I’m female). The point I”m making in case you’re missed it is that choosing to remain single is regarded with the same disapproval (if expressed in different ways) regardless of being male or female. I never much cared what others thought so I was just curious and pathetic to me. I’ll gloss over the “what no children!” silliness as that’s another topic.

Was I the canary in the mine? What an unholy mess it all is now. Women more scared than ever of men and men now just as frightened of women. And the anger… Watching it unfold from my position has been saddening. I see no improvement. In fact quite the reverse. If only everyone would understand it’s six of one, and half a dozen of the other. There seems no willingness on either side to examine themselves.

PP Garb

10th October 2019 at 7:57 pm

That is: “*it* was just curious and pathetic”.

By the way Spiked, I’ve tried to sign-up several times. I never get a password or confirmation email, so I’ve signed up a lot. You’ll have a fair few dormant accounts as a result. I have raised it, but you still don’t let someone set their own password in the registration form….. come on, sort it out.

PP Garb

10th October 2019 at 8:00 pm

Ha! Seems a password has come through. Ok, well done.

Stephen Kenny

12th October 2019 at 12:12 pm

The UK marriage rates have been falling for about 40 years and, with the occasional little uptick, continue to fall. ‘Singles’ bars vanished in the 70s as it became more and more common to be single.
Today, if you and your parents were born in the UK, and you aren’t British-Indian or Jewish, there’s about a 50% chance you’ll ever marry.
It’s a trend.

Stephen Kenny

13th October 2019 at 11:55 pm

The UK marriage rates have been falling for about 40 years and, with the occasional little uptick, continue to fall. ‘Singles’ bars vanished in the 70s as it became more and more common to be single. It’s been replaced by cohabitation, which of course has a far higher separation rate than marriage.
Today there’s something like a 50% chance you’ll ever marry – lower if your male.
It’s been a trend for a while.

Claire D

10th October 2019 at 8:07 am

The Handmaid’s Tale has a lot to answer for, it was first shown in April and May 2017, #MeToo went viral in October 2017. The Handmaid’s Tale is a particularly unpleasant, animus driven, divisive piece of propaganda hiding under the guise of a novel, it was entirely predictable that it would cause a moral panic when it was televised. In other words #MeToo was a moral panic and it is having ongoing repercussions.
It was hastily adopted by feminists as another weapon to beat men down with. They’ve discovered that they cannot compete with men in public life as easily, or as effectively, as they had envisaged, so they are fighting underhand, by stealth. Attack masculinity itself, accuse, force apologies and guilt out of men for the slightest resemblance to a sexual response to the woman in question. (Obviously I am not talking about real sexual crimes and harassment which can and should be reported to the police.)

What I find disturbing is the effect it is having in so many other areas socially, in particular domestic violence, which is now being generally viewed as ‘ male violence against women ‘ instead of a complex, social and psychological problem. This means dealing with it effectively is going to be harder, if not impossible.

Jane 70

10th October 2019 at 9:17 am

Very well said Claire, and frankly, sometimes I feel ashamed to be female; I’m so irritated and alienated by their deceitful manipulation of behavioural norms and their growing exploitation of men.

Claire D

10th October 2019 at 11:18 am

Thanks Jane, but please don’t be ashamed of being a woman; throughout history people have behaved badly, sometimes appallingly, neither sex is inherently more virtuous or more malevolent than the other.

Philip Humphrey

10th October 2019 at 9:33 am

Yes, the novel says a lot about Atwood’s fear and hatred of men which she has projected into the future, but unlike proper science fiction it doesn’t have any ideas based on science.

Jerry Owen

10th October 2019 at 7:21 am

Yes.. what is it about the 20 year gap, I have pondered on that thought myself.

Andrew Best

10th October 2019 at 7:09 am

I was raised in a family of women and was taught simple things like respecting women and opening doors for them
I suppose this makes me a sexist now?
And I am only 46, the world has gone mad in my lifetime

Life Coach

10th October 2019 at 12:55 pm

I respect only those who demonstrate to me that they deserve respect and their plumbing has nothing to do with that.

Martin Bishop

10th October 2019 at 9:51 pm

Does it make you sexist? Yes, but only mildly so I wouldn’t worry about it. If you want to be a vagina activated door opener because that’s how you were programmed, then so long as it makes you happy, go for it. Pass on your vagina activating door values to your future generations. I had a young woman open the door for me, so I know penis activated door openers exist as well. If a solar flare knocks out all the worlds electronics you guys and gals will have key skills for supermarkets. Not sure how you’ll cope with gender fluid peeps though, will you just crash and need rebooting, or keep opening and shutting the door in a confusion loop.

Amin Readh

10th October 2019 at 10:33 pm

“I was raised in a family of women and was taught simple things like respecting women and opening doors for them”

If you were brought up right, wouldn’t you open door for just about anyone? Why just women?

Stephen Kenny

12th October 2019 at 7:19 pm

You’re way angry. It was simple: Always for women, irrespective of the geography, and for men if the geography enabled it or they were your boss.

Just as you stood up when a woman left the room (if you were on your own), and stayed standing until they came back, and all the rest. Or offered them a seat on the train, and so on. They applied to cleaners and prime ministers alike.

It was ‘good manners’, or ‘being polite’, and we all unlearned it all in the 80s and 90s. In the 80s, the best approach was just not to be near the door at all, then no one was offended (my boss Petula, advised me). By the 90s, it was all gone.

Baked Beans

29th October 2019 at 7:39 pm

“If you were brought up right, wouldn’t you open door for just about anyone? Why just women?”
Ach! Zo in_n_n_nocent!
How old are you my dear?
And yet have you never got into a fight about who opens the door for whom?

Noggin The nog

10th October 2019 at 6:20 am

Andrew Leonard. Could not agree more. Sad times.

Jane 70

10th October 2019 at 3:57 am

“I feel very passionate about this. You should be allowed to wear whatever you want, walk around topless or naked or anything, without it necessarily being sexualized. “

Joker co- star Zazie Beets on advisable dress codes: this sort of nonsense does my head in.

On the one hand we have #metoo constantly bleating, complaining and shouting guilty as charged; on the other, we have narcissistic luvvies demanding the absolute right to dress , however inappropriately, wherever and whenever they choose, with no consequences or limits.

This is fundamentally dishonest, foolish and silly: public nudity is not a good idea, and women do themselves no favours whatsoever, by donning ever more sexualised clothing and then crying wolf when they attract male attention.

I’ve had many arguments with other women about this over the years: one can look good, attractive and stylish without letting it all hang out- think Audrey Hepburn and her unique blend of beauty and good taste.

And the dismissal of the plight of those hapless young girls in Rotherham, Oxford and elsewhere should give the #metoo gals pause for thought.

Most of us have had to endure unwelcome attentions and some have caused significant mental and physical distress-I’m one- but this particular campaign seems to have done far more harm than good.

Many decent, well intentioned and honest men are now alienated and confused, while the isolated nutters grow more disturbed and resentful.

Jerry Owen

10th October 2019 at 8:24 am

Jane 70
It has come to a sad time when I feel more comfortable holding a door open for a man than a woman. I wasn’t brought up like this, but this is the reality now.

Jane 70

10th October 2019 at 9:15 am

I sometimes hold the door open for men-usually delivery blokes struggling with heavy parcels, or young blokes with kids.
They almost all say ‘thank you’ politely and seem surprised. Very sad.

Jim Lawrie

10th October 2019 at 11:11 am

To discourage cyclists, the gates in the formal gardens of my local park have very heavy springs on them. I hold them open for whomsoever, even if it means waiting a few seconds, or moving more quickly toward them. I am happy to say that my chivalry is always acknowledged, and never questioned, far less rejected.

H McLean

10th October 2019 at 8:28 am

For a young woman to have the attitude that they can wear literally anything or nothing at all and not be judged for it shows an incredible conceit and entitlement. But then again, there is a strong argument that from the very start feminism has been about granting women freedom from personal responsibility, or society being set up to rescue them from their own poor choices. Based on the current evidence that assertion can only be described as accurate.

Jane 70

10th October 2019 at 9:14 am

Yes you’re so right; this arrogant narcissistic sense of entitlement-power without responsibility;actions without consequences.
They do not represent me, nor many thousands of other women, who live in the mature world of decency,personal responsibility and discretion.

Jim Lawrie

10th October 2019 at 11:02 am

There is an element of baiting men among some women. They actively seek grievance and victimhood, and act in concert to attack men in the workplace as part of a career strategy.

In the sphere of IT, a lot of men now work from home to avoid such hassle. In doing so they kill skill transfer to women, who then have to formally request help and therefore highlight their own shortcomings. They also have to implicitly acknowledge when their work is rubbish. Their attempts to smokescreen their inadequacies backfire big time. Men take requests from women business analysts, execute them as is, and do not point out any errors that they see.

I have come across situations where men have pointed out in writing that their contract does not state that they have to teach people. When that has been changed, they book time against the specific persons. Or just go elsewhere.
I used to, at my own behest, run IT classes at work when I thought it necessary. Attended mainly by women. I was accused of mansplaining in these sessions. Women who knew nothing presumed to tell me how to teach them in minutiae, and everything that was wrong with how I was doing it. 20yrs ago women in such classes were attentive, looking to learn, and sometimes quite saucy when you were the only man there. Back then it would not have occurred to them to think the classes were an attempt to embarrass them. They saw it for what is was, and took it in the spirit in which i was meant – an opportunity to acquire skills that would mean requests that would have gone into the pending queue for the IT guys coud now be done by these women. All at a fraction of the cost of external training and with the advantage that the teacher knew the students. Seniority outside the classroom counted for nothing in it. Ability and application did. A proposal nowadays to split a class in two based on ability might involve a fleet of ambulances. Followed by a squad of ambulance chasers.

The worst place in the world for all of this viciousness is Sweden, land of the male pussy.

When companies relocate to the likes of Singapore, it is to escape this stultifying “culture”. The salaries are higher over there, but in the long term more, and more effective work, is done.

The economic impact of all this is staggering. Men are going their own way. Into early retirement or leaving the Western world.

Forlorn Dream

10th October 2019 at 12:33 pm

Dave Chappelle put it right when he joked,
I accept that you are not a whore but you should understand how I was confused because you are wearing a whores uniform.

Michael Lynch

10th October 2019 at 1:47 pm

Reply to Jim.

Thornberry is an expert at baiting men; her whole career has been based on perfecting this technique. You see this behavior from her all the time on QT. It’s probably why John McDonald has given his full support for her latest madness of going to Europe to negotiate a deal and then campaign against it. Just imagine if he didn’t agree with her, she’d roll her eyes and accuse him of misogyny! Either that or she’s got something on him. What else can explain the turnaround from ardent socialist to globalist loving Europhile? You could also say the same for Bercow; an ardent Eurosceptic for years and now it’s greatest fan. Have people like Thornberry amassed a dossier about his years of abuse against female workers in Parliament? Ready to waive it under his nose lest he deviates from the ‘smash Brexit’ plan. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?

Amin Readh

10th October 2019 at 10:28 pm

@ Jim Lawrie

“In the sphere of IT, a lot of men now work from home to avoid such hassle.”

How many? How do you know?

“I used to, at my own behest, run IT classes at work when I thought it necessary.”

You are lying. This has never happened as you describe it.

” I was accused of mansplaining in these sessions.”

No you weren’t. As such sessions never took place.

“When companies relocate to the likes of Singapore, it is to escape this stultifying “culture”. ”

Nope. Cheap labour and/or bigger market. Or name me say three companies that done this.

“Men are going their own way. Into early retirement or leaving the Western world.”

Like rest of your post, this is just BS. But of course you are going to inundate me with figures showing men leaving West.

– –

I don’t think you are in the same bracket as “Jerry Owen” – he is plain stupid. But your BS is sometime akin to his. Too easy.

Ad Dam

11th October 2019 at 5:26 am

@ AMIN READH

I am one of those men he speaks of. Left the UK 15 years ago and now work from home, in Asia. I’d go crazy in the Western work environment now.

Mister Joshua

11th October 2019 at 9:01 pm

You said it, Jane!

Completely agree with what Michael Lynch says, too.

Time to take our countries back from the academic ideologues who currently control them!

Andrew Leonard

10th October 2019 at 2:07 am

Men care about women.
That care is a precious and important thing.
It would be a shame if something happened to it.

Trudi Hauxwell

10th October 2019 at 9:02 am

There are still plenty of us women who do cherish honest interactions with good men.

Life Coach

10th October 2019 at 12:54 pm

But sadly people like you don’t control the media or the narrative. Until more women put their heads above the parapet and change this narrative it will only get worse. We are already seeing this in the growth of those men who identify as MGTOW. A simple accusation can ruin a man so many men are just opting out and who can blame them?

Michael Lynch

10th October 2019 at 1:58 pm

I still believe that the vast majority of women are just like you. Unfortunately, as LC has pointed out, you don’t control the media. Even worse, you seem to have no say via the ballot box either. Brexit was indeed many things, including a protest against the ridiculous PC narrative that has infested the entire British establishment. Particularly, more worryingly, the justice system. The country has to rid itself entirely of the current political class. This top down approach is the only way to sweep away this rotten ideology. I only hope it’s not too late otherwise the long term consequences are dire.

PP Garb

10th October 2019 at 8:09 pm

I agree Michael: get rid entirely of the current political class. More balance is what is needed in this country on so many fronts.

Ven Oods

12th October 2019 at 11:46 am

‘MGTOW’
Just looked that one up. Never seen it before. I must get out more.

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