Who cares if we have an openly gay prime minister?

There was an opinion piece published in Metro earlier this week, trumpeting the headline, ‘Zack Polanski, not Wes Streeting, should be Britain’s first gay prime minister’. The article began like a moronic Pink News scoop: ‘Like many LGBT+ people, I’ve spent my whole life hoping I’d live to see the day an openly gay prime minister moved into 10 Downing Street.’ I was tempted to ask why, but I’m pretty sure that Streeting or Polanski would give an equally on fleek rendition of ‘Tear down those curtains and make him a dress’ upon entry, so what difference would it really make?

I jest, of course. The sad reality is that there are those among us who appear to believe that one’s sexuality or identity is the most interesting and important component to doing a job. That certainly seems to be the case with the LGBTQIA+ crowd, who think that having an actual gay person in charge would be the most groundbreaking event since Eddie Izzard said, ‘Call me Suzy’.

The fact is that neither Labour’s Streeting nor the Greens’ Polanski would ever ‘identify’ as gay. Both would likely talk in terms of being LGBTQIA+. Which is quite a different entity altogether. Ultimately, both terms are meaningless and irrelevant to the task at hand. Had a prime minister come out, say, in 1981, when the tennis legend Martina Navratilova did, it would have been a different matter entirely. Although, if my recollections are correct, it would have been distinctly unlikely, considering the constant mixture of fear and loathing levelled against lesbian, gay and bisexual people at the time. To do so would have been not only courageous, but most likely a fool’s errand, too. Your career would have been over and out before you could say, ‘I could crush a grape’.

Homosexuality is so unremarkable now that I’m surprised more politicians haven’t latched on to the Hollywood craze and declared themselves ‘nonbinary’. This, apparently, carries far more cachet, and – most excitingly – a smashing new wardrobe filled with assorted dungarees.

Which brings me onto the reaction to this Dual of The Divas between Streeting and Polanski. Of course, the bona fide members of the all-or-nothing LGBTQIA+ mob were outraged at the suggestion that Streeting could take the crown. Some septum-pierced, grammarless hack said he was ‘Getting out ahead of this right now’, before declaring: ‘We simply do not claim Wes Streeting as the first gay PM. A man who has thrown trans people under the bus, who backs attacks on LGBTQ migrants, on POC [people of colour], on [the] working class… is not emblematic of our movement and is certainly no trailblazer.’

I had no idea a group could ‘claim’ anyone for themselves, but as this particular individual’s X bio proudly proclaims he’s ‘Your dad’s favourite lay’ (followed by a glittery long fingernail emoji), I think we may safely dismiss this rant as the ravings of an online omnicause onanist.

Trouble is, there seems to be rather a lot of these people about. Polanski is being touted as the champion of LGBTQIA+ politics, but it does not seem to me that this particular individual will concern himself with the first three letters of this increasingly foolish acronym, whose rights are in direct opposition to the TQIA+. Most gay people who want nothing to do with gender ideology call themselves LGB. That is because we do not want to see women’s hard-won rights demolished, we do not want to see lesbian-only spaces invaded by men, and we most certainly do not want to see gender theory in action – especially when it comes to influencing other people’s children.

In practice, neither Streeting nor Polanski would be any good. In fact, I believe they’d be rotten. Gay, straight, multicoloured or hexagonal, their sexual preferences are utterly irrelevant. Especially now. What is of vital importance is what these men really believe and whether they are to be trusted. It’s not enough to say, ‘Well, I’ve always voted “X” and I’m not changing now.’ It’s not enough to say, ‘Yay! They’re LGBTQIA+! That’s what matters!’

It is worth heeding these words from the estimable Douglas Murray: ‘It doesn’t matter what your sexuality is. You should simply be concentrating on doing what you should be doing in your life and doing it well.’

I wonder if that’s ever going to be a possibility for people ever again?

James Dreyfus is an actor who has starred in Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, Absolutely Fabulous and The Thin Blue Line.