We need to cause a stink about the ban on wet wipes

I dread to think how much money I have spent on wet wipes. Probably a pension’s worth, at this point. But I don’t regret a single penny. Before having children, I had absolutely no idea how indispensable these precious things would become. Running out is a household emergency. No parent buys a single packet; we stockpile them like survivalists. They are efficient, reliable and affordable. An example of a quietly revolutionary innovation, like the disposable nappy, that has transformed the lives of parents. They’re not glamorous, but they make an enormous difference. Anyone who has had to deal with a little one’s explosive poo, or ‘poonami’ in parenting slang, will understand.

Environmental groups, however, have long been campaigning against wet wipes. For years, this was an eccentric idea that was mostly ignored. But now the UK’s eco-posturing government has decided to ban their use from 2027 onwards.

It is not a complete ban. Only wet wipes containing plastic will be banned and biodegradable ones will still be legally manufactured and sold. Medical professionals will also still be able to use them. This exemption is particularly infuriating because it recognises that non-biodegradable wet wipes are not only more efficient, but also more hygienic. Ordinary people, however, will be left with no choice but to use the plastic-free kind that don’t work as well and are often more expensive.

It has always frustrated me how little regard environmentalists show for the everyday practicalities of raising children. Before the innovation of wet wipes and single-use nappies, a huge amount of time and labour went into cleaning and drying cloth nappies, not to mention cleaning and drying the children who had soiled themselves. It was exhausting work that our ancestors were forced to do with no respite. It’s something that I often thought about as a sleep-deprived mother of a newborn. For our generation, changing a nappy and wiping a bum takes 15 minutes max. Compared with the burdensome work of cleaning up after a child in the past, this is little more than a mild inconvenience.

And yet, in the name of environmental virtue, we seem intent on making ordinary life steadily more difficult again. The items targeted first are always the ones that smooth over the rough edges of daily existence. It is true that wet wipes can clog up toilets and sewage pipes – and that not everyone knows that they can’t be flushed. But it is beyond patronising to assume the general public can’t cope with bagging them up with a soiled nappy and disposing of them in a rubbish bin. That we’re so stupid that the state must step in and high-handedly ban wet wipes altogether.

It’s a deeply regressive move. Since the mid-20th century, innovations in household technology have systematically eliminated much of the domestic drudgery endured by our forebears. Previously, such developments were celebrated. But not anymore. Now the environmental mob is turning on these time-saving innovations, and expressing contempt for the people who use them. Everything from wet wipes to mass-produced food is both snobbishly looked down on and slowly being taxed or banned out of existence.

Like so many eco-edicts before it, the wet-wipe ban dresses up a very old elitist instinct: to lecture, scold and manage the masses. And there is nothing remotely progressive about that.

Candice Holdsworth is a writer. Visit her website here.