Is being awkward now a sex crime?

Men and women suffer when uncomfortable interactions are rebranded as assault.

Ella Whelan

Ella Whelan

Topics Feminism UK

It is widely acknowledged that teenage boys can be awkward when looking for love. Films like Superbad or Napoleon Dynamite resonate with audiences because we love to see wallflowers come out of their shell when they find the right person. Which is why the case of Jamie Griffiths is so upsetting. Griffiths, a 19-year-old student from Knutsford, Cheshire, was found guilty last week of two counts of sexual assault for touching a 17-year-old girl’s arm and waist. Griffiths was fined £250 and made to carry out 200 hours of community service. He has been placed on the Sex Offenders Register for the next five years and his likeness has been plastered across the papers alongside headlines reading ‘sexual assault’ and ‘student touches schoolgirl’.

On the face of it, a university student approaching a schoolgirl on the street – on two occasions – and touching her without saying anything sounds dodgy. The girl in question was reportedly so upset by the interaction that she called the police. She told her lawyer that Griffiths’s hand ‘would have been on my breast had I not moved’. But it would be wrong to understand Griffiths’s behaviour as predatory or perverted – in fact, it was quite sad.

The court learned that Griffiths was a classically shy and introverted teenage boy. He had googled things like ‘how to make a friend’. He claimed he had tried to talk to the girl, explaining his actions by admitting, ‘I was just so lonely’. Of course, most teenagers, no matter how shy, don’t resolve their feelings of inadequacy by touching strangers on the street. But it is hard to accept that Griffiths should be classified as a sex criminal because of this interaction. This does not feel fair.

In fact, this isn’t fair for either party. The girl who Griffiths fixed his attention on has had a rough time, too – not just because a strange boy approached her on a railway bridge and touched her, but also because she has been encouraged to view this interaction as sexual assault. The victim claims she has been traumatised, that she feels unsafe and even panics whenever she sees a lone man. The authorities have clearly allowed this case to be blown out of all proportion, which has encouraged a young woman to be terrified of men. This, again, does not feel fair.

Sexual assault is a real problem. But if we blur the lines between awkward, uncomfortable and weird social interactions and criminal, sexually abusive behaviour, we denigrate the seriousness of the occasions when men really do prey on and harm young women. Paranoia about the dangers facing young women has been ramped up in recent decades. From paedophile panics to the #EverydaySexism and #MeToo movements – we now encourage women to see themselves as constantly vulnerable to male advances. We also encourage them to alert the authorities or call the police at the first sign of something a little abnormal in an interaction.

Of course, Griffiths could have turned out to be much more of a threat than he was. But in a different climate, one in which women were not encouraged to see all male attention as inherently dangerous, this could have played out differently. Allowing Griffiths an opportunity to realise that what he did was socially unacceptable without labelling him a sex offender would strike me as a better way to deal with this. Griffiths creeped out a girl two years younger than him – this is wrong, but it should not be criminal.

What’s so sad about this case is that it proves how nervous the sexes have become around one another. Shyness or loneliness are no excuse for genuinely bad behaviour, but in a more generous social climate it would not be the job of the criminal-justice system to teach shy teenage boys a moral lesson. Neither is it wise to send out a message to young women that all strange and uncomfortable interactions are best dealt with by the police.

If we are to change this rather tragic cultural norm of teenage boys lagging behind girls when it comes to emotional maturity, then clapping them in handcuffs every time they make a mistake won’t help. And when it comes to lonely or odd individuals reaching out to others, we should err on the side of generosity and sympathy, rather than always expecting the worst in people.

Ella Whelan is a spiked columnist.

Ella is co-convenor of the Battle of Ideas festival taking place in London this weekend. Get tickets here.

Picture by: Getty.

To enquire about republishing spiked’s content, a right to reply or to request a correction, please contact the managing editor, Viv Regan.


Tommy Peters

11th November 2019 at 11:01 pm

Folks, we are (still) at war! Ella has a point, so has Alexandra Kollontai a Marxist revolutionary who suggested ‘female power’ is all but an illusion in a war zone in that women are its first prisoners, but only if good men defend them against bad ones who would otherwise drag them along by their hair.

Jamie’s action is welcomed in a war zone where the line between harassment and flattery is distinct. In this instance, rather Jamie, the girl he touched is the wallflower coming out of her shell, caught between her vulnerability as a female and her need to be protected. Her gut feeling is the ‘pleasant’ ones who ignore her would be apathetic to her plight when it really matters, while the likes of Jamie and the cat-callers she is taught to disdain would be the first responders when she is struck down and helpless.

Claire D

6th November 2019 at 9:53 pm

Skirts again.
For at least the last two thousand years women and girls have covered themselves up modestly, though necklines have plunged at times. After the First World War skirts became short for the first time, then long again, then short during WW II, then long again; up and down each decade almost, it’s as if women can’t decide what it is they want, sex or safety.

There are of course some women who favour trouser suits, what would once have been male attire only; these women expect respect and perhaps they get it, I don’t know. Do they deserve it though ?
It’s strange that Theresa May adopted male attire most of the time and was a weak PM, whereas Margaret Thatcher held fast to more traditional female clothes and was very strong.

Cedar Grove

9th November 2019 at 8:08 pm

Surely women can have both, irrespective of whether it’s a dress, a skirt or trousers we choose to wear on any given day.

Claire D

11th November 2019 at 6:02 am

Not sure if you’ve read the earlier posts about skirts and mixed messages, perhaps not.

Women should be able to have both sex and safety, but there are some issues about how that is to be achieved at the present time. Walking around in a skirt that barely covers your backside (I did it myself back in the day) does not encourage safety, it is offering sex on a subliminal level.
Life is complicated.

Tom Fox

6th November 2019 at 10:19 am

If ‘odd’ people are going to be charged and convicted of horrible offences for a gauche attempt to make contact with another human being, largely on the say so of the febrile imaginings of what might have happened according to a teenaged girl, we might as well lock up all eccentric and autistic people. I’ve seen this kind of thing before concerning a terribly shy autistic man who lived near me for thirty years. He looked VERY weird and received a lot of abuse from teenagers through no fault of his own. He used to pirouette while walking along and cross teh road at every lamp post. He NEVER spoke to anyone or interacted with anyone except by turning around 180 degrees and walking away when he found himself approaching a teenager. I was shocked to discover that some people without any kind of evidence were suggesting that he was a potential rapist. The only evidence any of them had for this appalling accusation was that he was weird, so he must be up to no good.

antoni orgill

3rd November 2019 at 11:46 am

Fair enough commentary but a bit soft on the zealous, authoritarian morons who have acted with deliberation and pseudo-wisdom with hyper-punitive methods. The poor so-and-so is shy. How many thousands of shy teenagers need a bit of a gentle nudge in the right direction? In the light of this case they’ll likely be retreating into the safe-space of crap porn for years more to come. Sad, indeed …

Ebberman Jones

2nd November 2019 at 3:21 am

Thank you Ella for this article. It’s food for thought, as is a lot of the comments.

farkennel smith

2nd November 2019 at 3:07 am

He actually touched her wrist.Henceforth she shall be known as a “survivor”.

John O’Riordan

2nd November 2019 at 12:37 am

Might there not be some type of process instituted to deal with incidents such as this, call it “An Amendment Process” (or some such term).
The most probable consequences of the court procedure are that one poor young woman will go through life feeling that she has been the victim of a sex criminal, fearful of all of ‘men-kind’, and always in terror of another violation of her person; and also one young man with a criminal record hanging around him, and all that implies, a social pariah, and suffering rejection that would only distance him further from normal social relationships.
A non-adversarial “Amendment Process” would create space for a mutual understanding, with scope for restitution (that is to MAKE AMENDS) in appropriate cases, all for the lasting benefit for those involved, If the offender were to re-offend then society has to deal with a markedly different type of individual.

Claire D

1st November 2019 at 6:33 am

I think it is the very nature of girls to send out mixed messages, flaunting themselves on the one hand, teetering on the edge of danger, yet nervous of the real consequences. One of the first pieces of clothing found wrapped around the hips of a preserved young woman in Denmark, dating from 1300 – 1400 BC, is a short, very short, skirt made of tassels that would have swung tantalisingly as she walked.
It is not young people’s fault, especially girls, who are at the mercy of the current ethos of feminist blaming combined with the necessity to aggressively compete with their male counterparts for status in the ‘ modern ‘ world, which is at odds with their natural instincts to attract the opposite sex.
Well, it’s up to them to find a way out of this mess. Each generation faces a particular challenge all of it’s own.

Christopher Tyson

31st October 2019 at 9:06 pm

Feminism has at its heart two contradictory tenets, that men and women are different and that men and women are the same. Men and women know that they are different from each other, a girl’s mother and father know that boys and girls are different. Feminist often appear naïve about men, they imagine men as bigger, hairier, badly behaved versions of women. In the animal kingdom the male is active, at least more active than the female. Amongst humans, we all know that the man who goes to the pub and waits to be chatted up by a woman will have a long wait indeed. Unless of course he is famous, rich, successful, confident; assertive men, attract women, this is partly why most men aspire to be these things, and this is the irony of patriarchy, the most powerful patriarchal men are attractive to women. I heard a clip from a radio show the other evening, and a woman made a point that most people today would not think twice about, it is today’s orthodoxy and common sense; she said that she wanted to attract more women writers, directors and actors into the theatre, an uncontentious aspiration, however she said that it is women who buy most theatre tickets and therefore there should be more stories about women and their lives. Feminist have carte blanche to use bad logic. Consider this, most of the people paying to see strippers are men, so we should have more male strippers because men want to see themselves represented on the stage. Ludicrous I know, but the think is men like to look at naked women, but we could argue that in theatre, women like to look at attractive men, doing things, emoting and being interesting. For feminists the idea that women might want to pay good money to watch men is a form of false consciousness, they simply cannot accept this idea. Not convinced? Name a girl band that is popular with girls, name a boy band that is popular with girls. Feminist promote the idea that there is an equivalence between men and woman, but there isn’t. Men are ruthless with other men, there is no common brotherhood of patriarchy. Feminists had the insight long ago that chivalry was a means that men used to patronise women and keep them oppressed. This was a perceptive insight. However men, are inclined to chivalry, men want to impress women, men often do not see women as rivals, men want to develop different kinds of relationships with women than they do with other men. Public schools, armies, prisons, sports teams have all recognised the dangers of men (their assets) going off the rails, even animal lovers castrate their male pets. By denying biology feminists are not able to make sense, but their whole ideology is built on biological difference, they both deny and affirm biology. In modern society we know that there are many tasks and occupations that men and women do as equals, there are all kinds of interactions and relationships that are unproblematic. However the early feminists ridiculed the need for chaperons and the like, but in effect a return to this is what they are calling for. Indeed chaperones for women may be good for men too, sexually active women have traditionally feared for their reputations, men are now also in a position where what was called flirtation or ‘chatting up’ could subjectively be construed as something else, and reported to who knows, it might be useful to have a witness.

Dominic Straiton

31st October 2019 at 7:00 pm

I have served on a jury and I find this decision incomprehensible. That 12 people could come to such a ludicrous decision is odd. I stand by the jury however because its the only thing that stands against Napoleons and the eu’s guilty until proved innocent.

jessica christon

31st October 2019 at 8:05 pm

No jury would’ve been there – it was a magistrates court that convicted him. But he should have chosen a jury trial at the crown court if he was given the option, for the reasons that you say; it’s hard to imagine they would’ve convicted him.

Neil McCaughan

31st October 2019 at 3:22 pm

Another uncomfortable reminder of how idiotic our police are, how worthless the legal trade is, and how corrupt and incompetent our courts are.

Forlorn Dream

31st October 2019 at 3:10 pm

The law is never fair and reasonable when it comes to female vs male.

Child custody

L Strange

31st October 2019 at 1:50 pm

The chap in this case appears to have been found guilty of sexual assault, not because of what he actually did, but because of what the girl says she thought he might do. Great weight was apparently put on her assuming his intentions.

Men will, if they’re wise, take note of this. Women will complain (more) that they’re never approached. Well, they’ll have to do it from now on.

Gweedo LeStrange

12th November 2019 at 3:50 pm

Yes. Women have gained total control over all interactions between the sexes. Men have got that message loud and clear, so they are starting to avoid all unnecessary contact with women. It’s very sad, but women have brought this on themselves.

Mark Bretherton

31st October 2019 at 1:16 pm

I get it that the police have to investigate and pass a file to the CPS in cases like this, but what kind of person could look at the evidence in the cold light of day and say to themselves ‘Yes, this case needs to go before the courts.’??

Linda Payne

31st October 2019 at 11:49 am

This is exactly the kind of thing I feared happening and it has. I hope the Me too zealots are happy now

Jane 70

31st October 2019 at 1:07 pm

A very good point and what also concerns me is the steady ‘sexualisation’ of our society: most films and telly programmes now have endless and frequently not entirely relevant, helpings of humping-if I may put it crudely-both dramas and the ghastly reality TV-cue bed swapping on ‘Love Island’ and similar.

Lots of dosh can be made by hitherto unknown youngsters who get signed up for the likes of Love Island, Towie, etc.

Young people are constantly exposed to this and young girls and teens seem to think that exposing themselves to the public gaze in very revealing clothing, is to be welcomed as evidence of ‘girl power’, liberation and confidence. Any attempts to question their judgement is seen as an infringement of their rights( Girls at our local secondary school wear what can only be described as lycra pelmets, so short that they barely cover the buttocks. Black tights are worn beneath the pelmets, but the appearance is bizarre, all the more so in this cold weather.) No doubt cowed teachers have abandoned any attempts to lengthen the hemlines.

Conversely, alongside this trend, we now see the consequences of #metoo and the increased criminalisation of what could be described as ill judged and clumsy behaviour on the part of an awkward, isolated young man.

It seems to me that young women are now mixed up and conflicted : fashion, peer pressure, entertainment, social media and identity groupings are pushing them in opposing directions: be as sexy as possible, while simultaneously rejecting most signs of male interest as potentially predatory, offensive and unacceptable.

Many men and youths must find the mixed signals extremely confusing and off putting.

This cannot end well for either men or women.

That the police leapt in in this case makes one wonder what pressure is coming from above.

Mister Joshua

31st October 2019 at 11:14 pm

Yes, Linda. I’m sure they’re very happy now.

This is what it was always about. Bullying while crying “victim”!

Claire D

31st October 2019 at 11:38 am

On two separate occasions a strange young man behaved inappropriately towards a young woman by touching her. I can understand the woman feeling nervous and fearful under those circumstances, I can even understand her going to the police. That’s when the craziness begins. All that was required was for the police to have a word with Griffiths and warn him that if it happened again he would be charged. If we give him the benefit of the doubt and his behaviour was awkwardness rather than genuinely threatening, then he would have learnt that that was not the way to make friends. The young woman could be reassured that he had been warned off but if it ever happened again he would be charged. As far as I know that is how policing used to work for less serious criminal behaviour; first of all a warning, second a caution, third arrest and charged.

Jerry Owen

31st October 2019 at 11:53 am

Claire D
How dare you speak such common sense !

Perverted Lesbian

31st October 2019 at 6:19 pm

I agree I think this could have been dealt with through Police Liason in conjunction with the University. I’m not so convinced of the lad involved being as innocent in his intentions as some may suggest, the reason I say this is because his behaviour is not acceptable and it was weird, yet he had no concept that this was not unacceptable, and so we don’t know if his behaviour may have escalated had the girl involved not informed the authorities. I do not believe the sentence fits the ‘crime’, but we cannot turn a blind eye to inappropriate behaviour because in this particular case the dude in question is a wimpy looking geeky type. If this was a 40 yr old man, 6ft and well built we would not be so forgiving of such creepy behaviour.

Tom Fox

6th November 2019 at 10:08 am

Your remarks seem to be based on the assumption that everyone has normal social skills. They don’t. The fellow in question would seem to have some autistic traits. He did nothing of a sexual nature. He merely touched her. He didn’t grab her, or touch her in any way that a normal person would describe as a sexual assault. Does the lad need some intervention and advice? Of course he does, but criminalising him in this dreadful way is profoundly wrong. If some people have their way, we might as well lock up all ‘odd’ people, autistic people, and people with any non-typical personality trait.

Danny Rees

31st October 2019 at 10:41 am

He would have got away with it if he was Muslim or an immigrant or something.

Ven Oods

31st October 2019 at 9:50 am

Could this be the justice system over-compensating for the Rotherham fiasco?

Danny Rees

31st October 2019 at 10:40 am

Oh yeah.

Cos the leftists couldn’t look up the Moslem rapists they going after the white ones.

Michael Lynch

31st October 2019 at 9:27 am

I can’t help thinking that when those underage, working class, white girls went to the Police to report actual rape they were dismissed out of hand. The gravitas of any incident now depends on the socioeconomic and racial status of the victim and perp. If you are white and working class you are trash and deserve everything you get. If you are from an affluent, middle class, background you are precious and need protection. The application of the Law has been twisted out of shape by political correctness. When the basic belief in equality under the law is under threat, then a free society will begin to unglue itself.

Cedar Grove

10th November 2019 at 2:51 pm

Ever since the Left abandoned its awareness of the role of social class in any interpersonal transaction, we’ve been plunged into the mire.

Sometimes, this just results in idiocy, but all too often, it’s dangerous, and as you say, disadvantages people not perceived to be middle -class. Unless, of course, they belong to a flavour-of-the-year minority & can be patronised.

Charles Buonaventura

31st October 2019 at 9:04 am

It very much sounded like this girl failed to get into Oxford and wanted to use this as extenuating circumstances. In return, a man’s life is ruined.

Lord Anubis

31st October 2019 at 9:13 am

Both their lives are ruined. He will never talk to any other girl ever again, and, locally at least (The Girl isn’t named of course, but everybody local to her will know who she is) No Boy will ever talk to her ever again. :/

M Blando

3rd November 2019 at 6:14 pm

Yes, all for the sake of educating young people on how to behave… oh, wait, that would need adults who know how to behave. Ahhhh.

jan mozelewski

4th November 2019 at 7:25 pm

Ridiculous, isn’t it? And so typical of a society that takes itself way too seriously because, in reality, they don’t have enough real problems. Too much time is spent on introspection and not enough time is spent keeping calm and carrying on.
I lurched into womanhood in those heady days of 1970’s sexual liberation….boy, do they seem a world away now….with the Pill being available and an ‘anything goes’ attitude prevailed. If i had made a complaint about being touched ON THE ARM!! by a shy fumbling teenager I would probably been considered bonkers.
As teenagers we frequently overstep boundaries because we don’t yet know for certain where they are. We flirt with danger and we sometimes get a bit scared but overall its a learning curve and by trial and error we finally get the hang of it. Unless something deeply disturbing happens then the best thing to do is put it in the file marked ‘experience’ and move on. It is one of those things my cousin (an early confidante…after all the alternative was mother!!) would have put into perspective for me. Certainly she wouldn’t have encouraged me to make a big deal of it.
Of course now, if I was to say these things somewhere like Twitter I would be greeted with hyterical nonsense. The reality is though, that I had lots of bumbling fumbling advances in my direction (ah, those were the days) and I am sure my parents knew this when i came home. Somehow I managed to possess the fortitude to not let it blight my life, traumatise me longer than it took for me to wash my make-up off, or in anyway else damage my future relationships.
The more I see of the way society is going the more I am convinced it is heading for mass insanity.

Gareth Hart

31st October 2019 at 8:51 am

All part of filtering men perceived as unattractive, socially awkward and of lower socio-economic status out of the dating pool, whether in real life or online. By making such behaviour from such individuals criminal as well as pressuring dating apps and websites to introduce artificial intelligence, algorithms and shadowbanning to take out and keep out such undesirable and criminal men from the dating pool. I bet if Griffiths was attractive, confident and of higher socio-economic status to the complainant, she would not have gone to the police.

Geoff Cox

31st October 2019 at 8:49 am

I was protesting outside Parliament yesterday (and I will be today) holding up a pro-Brexit sign. Several strangers (male and female) came up to me and touched me. They were saying “well done, keep up the good work”. I was not bothered at all, naturally.

So why couldn’t this girl have actually taken the touching as a compliment? She could equally have made her position clear on any further touching.

Naturally, we don’t know exactly how much had gone on before the charges were laid and it could be worse than it sounds, but on the face of it, on so many levels, this is not a good route to go down.

Jerry Owen

31st October 2019 at 9:30 am

Well done Geoff, hope the global warming isn’t too harsh on your tootsies !
In the real world I suspect that most females would rather receive male attention than not receive male attention.

Ven Oods

31st October 2019 at 9:45 am

“I was not bothered at all, naturally.”
Thing is, Geoff, we’re all different. I’m male, but I don’t like to be touched by strangers, whether or not I’m demonstrating in a noble cause.

Jerry Owen

31st October 2019 at 12:02 pm

You raise a point I pondered about on a Delingpole article/video in BB . An XR supporter approached Delingpole ‘to have a word’ , Delingpole allowed the XR wally to put his hand on his shoulder to basically stop him walking, he succeeded but also left his hand on Delingpoles shoulder. That in my book is a no no, you allow someone to control the narrative that way.
Delingpole should have asked him once to remove it , if not he should have removed it with just the right amount of ‘overforce’ to make a point. Unfortunately Delingpole allowed this and in the end the nice XR chappy shoved Delingpole which again he allowed, unfortunately Delingpole showed the hall marks of cowardice.
To answer your point some touching is not desirable.

M Blando

3rd November 2019 at 6:17 pm

Observe the reactions in queues at the supermarket when people intrude into personal spaces….. It makes the hairs on my neck stand on end, I can’t abide it myself. I have the ploy of stepping back into them… it sometimes takes a couple of times for them to get the hint. And if they say owt, I simply say “oh well you shouldn’t have been stood so close I could hear you breathing”.

Stephen J

31st October 2019 at 8:37 am

Far too much effort is spent by some in pursuit of our differences rather than our similarities. Even though I accept that at its most basic level, our needs and behaviours are similar, it remains that the nation is a brilliant way to organise human tribes.

The point of a nation is that it is supposed to contain people with similar traits, there is a deliberate attempt by establishment lefties to destabilise the nation in favour of the globalist concept.

The most basic human relationship after mother and child is surely between consenting adults, so we should be accepting of each other’s traits, teenage boys are awkward, teenage girls are far more mature than boys of the same age, they might be mothers soon.

Making such awkward encounters even more awkward seems to be an effective way of leading to extinction, rather than personal liberty.

Jerry Owen

31st October 2019 at 8:06 am

Shocking story. Just having the police arrive at his door would have mortified him. I would imagine his life is pretty much unbearable in his locality, we can only hope he doesn’t take the drastic measures one young boy took recently.
The liberal left have so much to answer for, from climate kids crying because the end of the Earth is nigh to school kids that believe being touched is virtually rape.
Her statement that ‘ he would have been on her breasts ‘ had she not moved seems an odd phrase… The fact was that he didn’t touch her breasts .
There was no sexual assault.
How on Earth do we unravel this mess whilst the liberal left control the schools and courts ?

Danny Rees

31st October 2019 at 10:42 am

All he would have had to do was to say “I identify as a black immigrant Muslim” and they would have gone “sorry to trouble you sir, we’ll be on our way”.

jan mozelewski

4th November 2019 at 7:28 pm

indeed so. And then the Liberal left worry about ‘Incels’. Note they don’t worry about how these isolated and angry young men were actually created. They simply want them to stay in the basement and not be ‘triggered’ to come out.

Tom Fox

6th November 2019 at 5:30 pm

Probably the situation can only be rectified by a revolution, a state of emergency, the mass incarceration of leftists, followed by the banning of their communications networks and abolition of their new crimes.

I hanker after the old days when you turned on the wireless, waited for the humming of the valves to disappear, and heard the voice of Alvar Liddel saying something like, “This is the BBC news with Alvar Liddel reading it. Today the Prime Minister announced that food will no longer be rationed. The murderer XXX XXX who stabbed a woman in Manchester, was hanged this morning. The Home Secretary affirmed that in this country, violence will not be tolerated. That is the end of the news. We will now have a short interlude of some music. “

Tom Fox

6th November 2019 at 5:31 pm

Oh – for some reason I am to be moderated….

James Conner

31st October 2019 at 6:39 am

The Feminazis will not rest until all men’s cocks are removed and handed back to them on a plate.

Jerry Owen

31st October 2019 at 8:07 am

A recyclable eco plate.

Gareth Hart

31st October 2019 at 8:52 am

Unless you’re in the top 20% of men in terms of attractiveness according to studies done on OkCupid and Tinder. That’s what their crusade is really about.

Gweedo LeStrange

12th November 2019 at 3:52 pm

Yes. His crime was to be insufficiently attractive. Even though I am in the top 20%, women are no longer worth serious consideration.

Ven Oods

31st October 2019 at 9:47 am

“all men’s cocks are removed and handed back to them on a plate.”

That’s hospital food for you.


Jerry Owen

31st October 2019 at 12:06 pm

NHS locally sourced fresh produce !

Danny Rees

31st October 2019 at 10:42 am

Not all men’s cocks.

Just the cishet white men.

Black and brown Muslim men can go on raping scott free remember?

Tim Hare

31st October 2019 at 3:49 am

Unfortunately, young women get the message from older women that any unwanted advance from a man is one of the worst things that can happen to you. They lose all perspective and become increasingly defensive around men. The reality is that far greater harm can come to them by injustices perpetrated by institutions many of which are managed by women. Injustice in the work place or in education or at home can have much more devastating effects than an unwanted advance.

The promotion of ‘rape culture’ has desensitized young women from being more aware of the real dangers that surround them. Sexual assault is seen as worse than any other type of assault even if the outcomes are rather mild. They think they have to speak out because such assault is ‘serious’. Their ability to judge is undermined by the pressure to conform to the #metoo mentality.

They are playing into the hands of embittered older women who use them as pawns in their own quest for revenge against any man that reminds them of their own experiences. The young women should look critically at this bitterness and conclude that they do not want to end up the same way.

Maintaining bitterness and revenge for a lifetime does far more damage to a woman than unwanted touching.

Lord Anubis

31st October 2019 at 9:21 am

One of the things that is rarely mentioned , presumably because it doesn’t fit the modern woke style agenda, is that often the greatest obstacle to a young attractive woman’s professional career isn’t the supposed Male dominated Glass Ceiling. It is actually the single, middle aged, female HR manager who goes home each evening to an empty home apart from her cat.

jan mozelewski

4th November 2019 at 7:36 pm

I have to admit this put me in mind of the totally un-PC (and therefore actually funny ) ‘Are you being Served?’, Mrs Slocombe, and her pussy.

Cedar Grove

10th November 2019 at 3:14 pm

I object to your lazy generalisation about older women.

Those of us who came of age in the late 60s/early 70s threw away the rule-book and made up our own minds, often rejecting both the pressure from society to remain virgin until marriage, and the pressure from men of our own age to accede to every sexual demand, on pain of being called frigid.

We took responsibility for dealing with unwanted sexual advances – provided they weren’t violent – without appealing to authorities, & I certainly don’t advocate women’s return to fainting Victorian womanhood.

I travelled in the Middle East, North Africa & Asia, often alone, & learned to take care of myself, using scorn, compassion, humour, or reason as the situation required. Once, I pulled out my knife & made it clear I had every intention of using it if necessary. When my boss patted my behind, I stepped back and ground his foot under my stiletto heel. When he yelped, I loudly apologised, explaining that he’d startled me by touching me like that. I wasn’t the one with the red face afterwards.

What I teach young women is not to be willing victims, but to maintain their independence. All of us have a sense of perspective – I know no one who remembers an unwanted touch on the knee for 25 years, or who construes every approach as an asssault.

Men have benefited from privilege in society, and in the 20th century, did not have to fight for the simplest things – access to contraception, renting a flat, taking out a mortgage, not having to work as a typist at the BBC for a year, before getting the training which was offered to men immediately. Feminism was necessary.

Yet when I read about hysterical accusations of micro-aggression, or the demand for ideas or texts to be banned because someone is too fragile to deal with them, I wonder when we stopped teaching women to be strong, and retreated into a self righteous, perpetual victimhood. Also, as the survivor of endless meetings requiring decision by concensus, I’m horrified by the total absence of nuance in these cases – jettisoned in favour of simplistic, one size fits all decisions.

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