A day in the life of the 48%: Paul Mason*
Fighting the fash on the Tube and looking good in leather.
Want to read spiked ad-free? Become a spiked supporter.
5.48am – Woke up early after having a nightmare. Dreamt that European workers were being quashed by a bureaucratic elite. Pinched my arm and reminded myself it wasn’t real.
5.52am – Flicked on Top Gun while I decided which leather jacket to wear today.
8.48am – Popped into my local café to have breakfast with a few builders. For some reason, they didn’t turn up. Still, my venti frappuccino was to die for.
9.48am – Headed over to Jeremy’s only to discover he was out. Started feeling lonely so played with El Gato for an hour. He tried to scratch my leather jacket so I left.
10.48am – Got on the Tube to go canvassing with Diane for a few hours. An old woman asked for my seat. I laughed and told her she was a xenophobic bigot.
12.48pm – Started canvassing with Diane. Came across a Conservative placard in someone’s garden. Dog-whistle racism at its worst.
12.52pm – Took off my leather jacket and carried it over my shoulder. Made a mental note to watch Top Gun again tonight.
1.48pm – Bumped into a young voter outside his mum’s house. Tried to talk to him about Joy Division and the first time I pulled. He seemed in a rush and said: ‘Listen, mate, Diane can’t count on my vote. Diane can’t count full stop.’
2.48pm – Phoned up Channel 4 and asked for my job back.
4.48pm – Stood in the middle of Oxford Street and gave a speech about how Das Kapital was actually about the benefits of the Single Market. Nobody seemed to care – even when I put my leather jacket back on.
6.48pm – Thought about getting a tattoo of Juncker’s face plastered on to Che Guevara’s body. Realised it sounded ridiculous so I got my phone out and tweeted that all Brexiteers are racists.
8.48pm – Watched Top Gun again.
11.48pm – Thought about organising a demonstration against Iceman’s death, but started dozing off.
11.59pm – Had another nightmare about a technocratic European elite. Put on my leather jacket and went back to sleep.
*According to Jacob Furedi
Picture by: Getty
Who funds spiked? You do
We are funded by you. And in this era of cancel culture and advertiser boycotts, we rely on your donations more than ever. Seventy per cent of our revenue comes from our readers’ donations – the vast majority giving just £5 per month. If you make a regular donation – of £5 a month or £50 a year – you can become a and enjoy:
–Ad-free reading
–Exclusive events
–Access to our comments section
It’s the best way to keep spiked going – and growing. Thank you!
Comments
Want to join the conversation?
Only spiked supporters and patrons, who donate regularly to us, can comment on our articles.