Is this the worst poem ever written?
Matt Haig’s poem about beach bodies featured in Meghan Markle’s guest edit of Vogue .
Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle has guest-edited the September edition of British Vogue.
Predictably, it is packed full of woke celebrities and causes, from climate change to body image. It also features a poem by Matt Haig – ‘A note from the beach’ – which might be the worst poem ever written.
The poem is about the pressure (coming, ironically, from magazines like Vogue) to get the perfect beach body. Only it’s told from the perspective of the beach. ‘Hello. I am the beach’, it begins, later adding: ‘I am entirely indifferent to your body mass index.’
This morning, Haig read out the poem on the Today programme. You really have to hear it to believe it:
Is this the worst poem ever written?
Matt Haig's beach body poem — told from the perspective of the beach — was read out on #r4today and features in Meghan Markle's guest edit of Vogue.
"Hello. I am the beach…", it starts. You have to hear this: pic.twitter.com/yp1aSEagjj
— Fraser Myers (@FraserMyers) July 30, 2019
Has Her Royal Highness discovered the next poet laureate?