Personally, I’d take her by the left leg and throw her down the stairs
Read spiked editor Mick Hume's Notebook in The Times (London).
‘News that our legal guardians in the government are now planning classes to teach nursery rhymes — to parents — is enough to make any adult throw a tantrum. Beverley Hughes, Minister for Children, plans a national academy for parenting practitioners to train a “parenting workforce” of teachers, psychologists and social workers. Among other priorities, she wants them to educate “disadvantaged parents” about how to sing nursery rhymes and read stories. You surely could not make it up. At least, not without the support of your professional “co-educators”….’