spiked-geist, 12 October
'Bert is Evil!' gets binned; Tall, dark, GSOH, evil...; Rugger Buggers run for cover; Learn to cope - with celery.
Bert gets ‘binned’
Poor old Dino Ignacio.
For years, he had a nice little running joke on his website Fractalcow.com, about how Bert from Sesame Street is evil. Then he puts an image of Bert side-by-side with Osama bin Laden on the site – still no problem. But then the good people at Azad Products in Bangladesh decide to produce a poster of bin Laden, and lift some images from the internet to produce a montage – blissfully unaware of the significance of having a picture of Bert standing next to the putative Lord of Darkness, since Sesame Street hasn’t got a huge following in Bangladesh. The pictures get used in Dhaka street protests and before long Bert and Osama pictures are beamed around the world.
The bosses at Sesame Workshop were not impressed, and the offending pages had to be removed from the website. The ‘Bert is Evil!’ page now has a statement from Dino in which he explains his decision to kill the site. ‘i literally killed a part of myself today. if fractalcow represents different parts of my psyche. i just killed the rebellious part of my soul today in lieu of the part that dictates to be responsible…i fear that it may destroy the character’s credibility with children. i cannot allow that to happen’ (author’s grammar not mine).
Poor Dino, another victim of this crazy, mixed-up, wartime world.
Tall, dark, GSOH, evil…
Meanwhile, the ‘Osama is Evil!’ website is run by the FBI. Its ‘Most Wanted Terrorists’ site is rather bizarre – you would have thought that the law-and-order agencies might come up with something a tad more sophisticated than online ‘Wanted’ posters.
The whole thing looks like a dating agency for lonely single Arab men: ‘Mohammed likes to wear baseball caps and tends to dress casually. He is very good with computers’; ‘Swedan sometimes wears a light beard or moustache and has, in the past, managed a trucking business in Kenya’. Bin Laden himself should demand to have his description jazzed up. ‘He is left-handed and walks with a cane’ is never going to get the girls excited – unlike the spoonfed press who have lapped it up enthusiastically.
Ruggers Buggers run for cover
It’s one thing to note, as many have in recent weeks, that young people in the USA and the UK are not exactly willing to fight and die for their country. But times are very hard when grown men are unwilling to play rugby for their country for the same reasons.
So, it’s no big surprise that the decision of the Australian Rugby League team (‘the Kangaroos’) to cancel their tour of England because of the current situation has met with derision in both Australia and here in England.
‘It just makes me nervous. I don’t fear that anything will happen but I just don’t want to be stuck over there’, said Aussie full-back Darren Lockyer. Peter Fitzsimons, writing on the website Rugby Heaven, was not impressed: ‘Seriously. For all the public agonising that was going on, you’d think the debate was about whether or not the Kangaroos should be parachuted into Afghanistan with bayonets between their teeth and a photo of Osama bin Laden strapped to their wrists. “Your mission: bring him back, dead or alive.”’
Whether the tour goes ahead or not, the image of the Australian sportsman as a last bastion of unreconstructed masculinity is dead forever.
Dear Kangaroos: You guys have to be kidding!, by Peter Fitzsimons , Rugby Heaven, 12 October 2001
Ashes tour cancelled, BBC Sport Online, 10 October 2001
Learn to cope – with celery
You know what it’s like: you experience some stress in your life and you turn to drink/cigarettes/junk food for solace. Well, the message from the caring sharing people at DietSmart.com is ‘Just Say No!’.
‘The tragic events of 11 September have been emotionally challenging to everyone’, says DietSmart. ‘In times like these, we all have different ways of coping or seeking comfort. For some, that can mean turning to food – and often, foods that are high in calories or fat.’
DietSmart warns that ‘the calming effect of food is only temporary – and eating may even make you feel worse in the long run’. Instead you should try writing down your feelings, talking to friends, a hot bath, yoga…or a weight-loss plan that offers support! Just like the one from DietSmart.com!
Then you will have ‘access to a Personal Success Counsellor who can help you navigate life’s rough patches while you lose weight’. In short, don’t be a fat bloater and cry into a bag of chips because everybody will still hate you when you calm down. Cheers, DietSmart!
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