I was five years old, and sat in a Birmingham hospital ward being forced to watch Princess Anne getting married to Captain Mark Phillips. What made it even more boring was that I couldn't even hear the TV properly.
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I was in hospital to have enlarged adenoids removed. Adenoids are glandular tissues at the back of the throat, which can get infected and enlarged in children. In my case, an infection blocked the tubes that connect my throat to the middle ear, and caused me to be rather deaf in one ear.
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I had forgotten much of this, until I read the announcement by Derriford Hospital in Plymouth that tonsil and adenoid operations were to be suspended for a few weeks, while disposable surgical implements were introduced. Disposable surgical implements were required to combat the risk of the transmission of vCJD through contaminated instruments, in a programme funded by £25million of government money. The hospital sought to reassure the public by stating that the risk was only 'theoretical'.
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Theoretical indeed. As consultant ear, nose and throat surgeon Paul Windle-Taylor observed, 'There is no evidence at present that variant CJD is transmitted via surgical instruments, but we are committed to following best practice and wish to comply with the new guidance as soon as possible'.
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This could be presented as a sensible precautionary step designed to alleviate fears. In fact, it is entirely irrational, and is bound to lead to more suffering than would have occurred otherwise.
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There were only 25 cases of vCJD confirmed in the UK last year (1). Of those, none has been attributed to surgical instruments. Not only are hospitals required to take into account a theoretical risk, then: it is a theoretical risk of transmitting an extremely rare disease.
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Or, to put it another way, many children will now have to put up with deafness and earache - a thoroughly distressing experience for child and kept-awake parent when severe - longer than they need to because of a non-existent risk of infection.
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Could the NHS not have found a better use for £25million than buying disposable instruments under these circumstances? Adenoids may not be a very sexy issue; but in Devon right now there will be a number of frustrated families with suffering kids, just because government ministers have lost the capacity to take even the smallest risk over vCJD.
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At least there are no royal weddings in the pipeline.
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(1)See CJD Surveillance Unit figures
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